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August 2, 2010



HUMOR


GPS


Do I look that shady? I just got a GPS for my car, and my first trip with it was to a drugstore. Since the manual said not to leave it in the car unattended, I brought it with me into the store. While there, the GPS came alive, and a voice stated, "Lost satellite contact."


I wasn't embarrassed until a woman turned to me and said, "Your ankle bracelet monitor is talking to you."


.....Docs Daily Chuckle (pkaine@woh.rr.com) by way of "Christian Voices" (www.ChristianVoicesWorldwide.net)


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THOUGHT PROVOKING – INSPIRATIONAL


Sometimes we don't fully realize, or we forget, the love others have for us until it is too late. The following story is about Marriage, but the thought can be applied to other loved ones also - parents, siblings, etc. This is truly thought provoking about how lives can be needlessly destroyed or missing a true blessing simply by being uninterested, lackadaisical, or inattentive. It is a heart touching story.


MARRIAGE


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.


Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.


She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?


I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!


With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.


She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.


The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.


When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.


In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.


This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.


She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.


I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.


My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.


On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.


On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.


On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.


She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.


Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.


Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.


But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.


I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.


She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.


Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.


At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.


That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.


My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Dew to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.


The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!


You can share this because you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.


.....Author Unknown - submitted by a subscriber to "Christian Voices" (www.ChristianVoicesWorldwide.net)


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PLANNING AHEAD


The story is told of Morris, a Russian man, who saved his rubles for twenty years to buy a new car.  After choosing the model and options he wants, he's not the least bit surprised or even concerned to learn that it will take two years for the new car to be delivered.  He thanks the salesman and starts to leave, but as he reaches the door he pauses and turns back to the salesman. "Do you know which week two years from now the new car will arrive?"


The salesman checks his notes and tells the man that it will be two years to the exact week.  The man thanks the salesman and starts out again, but upon reaching the door, he turns back again.


"Could you possibly tell me what day of the week two years from now the car will arrive?"


The salesman, mildly annoyed, checks his notes again and says that it will be exactly two years from this week, on Thursday.


Morris thanks the salesman and once again starts to leave.  Halfway through the door, he hesitates, turns back, and walks up to the salesman.


"I'm sorry to be so much trouble, but do you know if that will be two years from now on Thursday in the morning, or in the afternoon?"


Visibly irritated, the salesman flips through his papers yet another time and says sharply that it will be in the afternoon, two years from now on Thursday.


"That's a relief !" says Morris.  "The plumber is coming that morning!"


We often have to make plans far in advance so as to avoid any conflicts. Before making any commitments -- you know the routine -- we have to pull out the date book (or the iPhone).  "The kids have got a soccer game that night at 7:00, but the next night is free."  Planning ahead isn't wrong; in fact, it's a scriptural principle.  What makes it wrong, though, is planning ahead without any thought of God.


"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit'; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow.  For what is your life?  It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.' " (James 4:13-15)


Go ahead!  Make your plans!  Fill in that date book!  Just make sure that God hasn't been left out.


Have a great day!


.....Alan Smith Helen Street Church of Christ, Fayetteville, North Carolina (alansmith.servant@gmail.com) by way of "Christian Voices" (www.ChristianVoicesWorldwide.net)


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