"Christian Voices"

September 30, 2010

HUMOR

This is a list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades. The spellings are the original ones.

1. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

2. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

3. When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

4. Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.

5. A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold..

6. Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

7. The pistol of the flower is its only protection against insects.

8. A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

9. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

10. Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

.....Mikey's Funnies (funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com) (http://www.mikeysFunnies.com) by way of "Christian Voices" (www.ChristianVoicesWorldwide.net)

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THOUGHT PROVOKING – INSPIRATIONAL

Summer Beauty, Midwestern Style

After I finished mowing the lawn two evenings ago, I sat rocking on our front porch glider. The nearly full moon was up, silvering trees and bushes with a glowing white radiance. The air was temperate and lovely, the fragrance of flowers filled the air, and I was just so grateful to be part of God's beautiful world. Praise and thanksgiving just naturally flow out to the Maker and Creator of all.

Yesterday evening, after company left, I was once again out on the front porch. As twilight turned to dusk, I saw a huge orange moon hovering above the horizon. I had never seen such a large moon with such a deep orange hue. I can remember Halloween drawings with a purple sky and orange moon that I always thought were just imaginative, but there it was--the "orangest" moon I'd ever seen.

To top off all the beauty, this is a firefly summer. The little light bearers are filling the yards with living fireworks as they float and soar in the warm air. At times, they seem to pair in twos for a pattern dance accompanied by singing frogs and chirping crickets. They hover like tiny stars above the flower mounds and plant leaves.

In the beauty of lovely yards maintained by conscientious families, the dream of a return to Eden does not seem so fanciful. Praise God from whom all blessings flow, and praise God for the emerging beauty in a country where, one yard at a time, the earth is once again becoming a garden of praise to our good God.

.....Mary Ellen Grisham (meginrose@charter.net) by way of "Christian Voices" (www.ChristianVoicesWorldwide.net)

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PRAYING FINGERS

Many children learn to count on their fingers, but a nurse once taught a child to pray "on his fingers." This was her method:

Your thumb is the digit nearest to your heart, so pray first for those who are closest to you. Your own needs, of course, should be included as well as those of your beloved family and friends.

The second finger is the one used for pointing. Pray for those who point you toward the truth, whether at church or school. Pray for your teachers, mentors, pastors, and those who inspire your faith.

The third finger is the tallest. Let it stand for the leaders in every sphere of life. Pray for those in authority -- both within the body of Christ and those who hold office in various areas of government.

The fourth finger is the weakest, as every pianist knows. Let it stand for those who are in trouble and pain -- the sick, injured, abused, wounded, or hurt.

The little finger is the smallest. Let it stand for those who often go unnoticed, including those who suffer abuse and deprivation.

What a great tool to use in teaching children how to pray for themselves and others. What a simple and wonderful reminder to use as we pray.

.....ChapNotes (ChapnotesMail@aol.com) (http://www.chapnotes.org) (t.airportchaplain@verizon.net) by way of "Christian Voices" (www.ChristianVoicesWorldwide.net)

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Editor Notes:

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40322 Christian Voices A Christian Outreach Ministry publishing an e-magazine - 2 issues per week providing encouragement, inspiration and spiritual growth to better cope with the stresses of everyday life.

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